79 seems like so much less than 80!

31 Jan

Or so I was told yesterday, when I went to bed last night with 80 days to go before I got home and woke up this morning to just 79!.

I’ve been going through so many emotions lately I couldn’t possibly have captured one for long enough to blog about it. One minute, I’ll be waiting for my coconut milk to be made in the market with my lemongrass, ginger, tofu and veggies in my bag that cost me less than $3 and I’ll be like, how the hell am I gonna survive at home (with winter looming no less) and not a dessert mango, daily or otherwise, in sight.

Nek minnit, a 5 hour bus trips turns into 5 bus trips over 9 hours and I’m like “get me the hell out of this country”…. but not to home. But I do wanna go home, cos I wanna go to class and hang with my pals and kiss my cat, complain the whole way up the 1000 steps and catch a scheduled train. But I don’t wanna go home, because that means I need to do the full time job of finding a full time job when an election just got called and nobody knows what’s what.

See what I mean? It’s like trying to catch a snowflake. (side note: is that the phrase? I was never good at using those kinda phrases. Some might remember a certain “if wishes were fishes” argument…)

I had my last monitoring and evaluation meeting last week. I thought I would have to show them the work I had done this year, so to avoid this, I left my macbook at home (“oh crap sorry didn’t know you would want to see actual work!”). But actually it was more about how I can exit smoothly so my organization is happy and even a little about how I am going to take care of myself in the next few likely emotional and confusing months. It gave me some good stuff to think about.

True to the sector I work in, it was recommended that I have a “strategy” for transitioning back into Melbourne life and managing my reverse culture shock. I am having one of those moments right now where the thought of going home makes me feel a bit sick…. so I won’t think too much about that strategies actions at this stage.

But I think the overarching goal of the strategy (yup I’m pretty good at my line of work) is to spend the next few months enjoying everything I love about this place I call home now while at the same time allowing myself to look forward to all those things I have missed about that other home that seems so far away.

So lots of coconuts, mangoes, surf and walks down the street while also checking out the events calender at the Wheeler, unsuspending my yoga membership, getting the book club list from the girls and maybe even letting myself look at the produce list at New Harvest.


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